National Infertility Awareness Week happens every April. It’s something that I’ve followed along with for a handful of years now, but only recently became verbal about it.

Resolve.org founded this movement back in 1989. 1989, y’all! It’s main goal? To help change the conversation about infertility. It’s an effort to help show the daily impact infertility can take on those around you. It’s a week where us warriors can get together to share our story, spread the word of just how common this diagnosis is, and help educate those around us.

Each year has it’s own “theme”, if you will. Last year was #InfertilityLooksLike. (Peep last year’s blog HERE.) This year is #WeCanAll. What does that mean? In short: we can all be part of the conversation around infertility. We can all make strides to make this once taboo topic more commonplace. We can all show a little bit of compassion to others. We can all chill out with the phrase “you should just…” and instead offer something empowering instead.

This week is bittersweet for me. Don’t get me wrong, I am LOVING all the social posts about it. I’m connecting with other warriors, I’m learning new things, I’m soaking it all in. But I’m also seeing more than a handful of success stories. It’s awesome to know that eventually this journey works for some couples. It’s also really freaking frustrating that we aren’t one of those couples yet.

I’m currently in the beginning stages of monitoring for FET #2 (frozen embryo transfer). We won’t know for sure when our transfer will be, but it should happen within the next few weeks. I’m not sure which is harder: the two week wait or the waiting for my meds schedule. Ha. Lies. The TWW is totally worse. The schedule waiting sucks, too, though. My little Type A brain struggles with the unknown. Infertility is a giant waiting game. One step forward, half a step back, side step a few, and wait. You’d like to think that I would get used to all this waiting. But alas. I have not. I think I may becoming more impatient. Once my insides are ready, we’ll transfer our little embryo baby, Charlie. Some of you may be thinking, “Charlie? I thought Alpha was next?!”. This is a valid question. I am apparently already nailing this whole mom thing and have been calling our embabies by the wrong name. Already. Dagnabbit. I’ve mixed up Alpha & Charlie’s names since the get-go. Sweet. #NailedIt. The current plan is to transfer Charlie next. Alpha will continue to chill until a future date. Should our FET #2 fail, we’ll do another egg retrieval (extraction) before scheduling our third transfer.

A sub-theme, if you will, of NIAW is #InfertilityIs. This was the main thought behind my latest reel on Insta. As I mention in the reel caption, infertility is a lot of things all at once. It's a bunch of doctor visits & schedules & waiting & heartache. But it's also finding support from strangers & connecting with your spouse. It's learning new ways to cope & finding that silver lining. It’s being at your wits’ end and digging deeper to keep going. It’s being fed up, but not giving up. It’s feeling like a failure as a female and knowing it’s not your fault. It’s a lot of tears & scary unknowns & new friendships & deeper conversations.

It's pain. It's sorrow. It's faith. It's hope. It's JOYFULLY waiting.