“WE DID IT!”

Those were the words Dr. Huber said when he called me with my first beta results. “We did it.” We’re pregnant.

Holy. Freaking. Shit.

We chatted a bit about what’s next, then Dr. Huber ended our call with this: “go pee on a stick & send me a picture of Kirk’s reaction.” Y’all. Seriously. I love this man. I truly don’t believe we could have gone through this journey without this blessing of a doctor. (Mrs. Huber, if you’re reading this: your husband is a pretty kick-ass doctor & all-around amazing human. Legit.)

Ok, cue ALL of the emotions ALL at once: anxiety, stress, fear, joy, disbelief, thankfulness.

Infertility has robbed SO much from me. It’s stolen my idea of how our family would be created. It’s made me jaded with how science even works. It’s taken away my dreams of how I wanted to tell my husband, and our family & friends that we’re expecting. Thankfully, Kirk wasn’t home when Dr. Huber called me. I knew he would be home soon so I had to think quick on my feet. Over the past roughly 8 years of trying to create a family, I’ve purchased a few baby items here & there. Ironically, my most recent purchase of a onesie was delivered the same day we got our results. I quickly peed on a stick. Even though I knew what the result would be, waiting those 2 minutes was still intense. Ha! I set out the new onesie & our first EVER positive home preggers test on the counter in my bathroom. I set my camera up & hit record. Kirk gets home and I say the words I’m sure every homeowner hates to hear… “Can you come take a look at this? I need to show you something…” #MyBadBae #IHadTo #TheBathroomIsFine

Telling Kirk this way wasn’t what I originally had planned, but it was definitely a good second best option. I’m glad I recorded it. I’m glad I can share that reaction with y’all. And I’m glad that one day I’ll be able to share that with Baby Fabre. (You can check out Kirk’s reaction HERE.)

Kirk, being the hater of all surprises, wanted to tell EVERYONE right away. Whoa. Easy killer. There’s a process here. We called Dr. Huber back first. Then we agreed to tell only our immediate family. While getting that positive result was a HUGE win for us, it’s only the first step. I’m over here walking around on eggshells because, honestly, I don’t believe this is real.

Our second beta test looked good, too. Ok, I feel more comfortable telling a few more peoples: besties, y’all are up! I don’t think I could have planned their reactions any better. I sent a screenshot of their video to Kirk. His response: “Just seeing the picture shattered my ear drum.” #Accurate #SoMuchScreaming #SoManyTears #AllTheHugs

We spent the next few days expanding the circle of those who knew: a few more family members, a few more friends, work people. Each reaction never disappointing. This part is fun. But this part is also still scary. We haven’t even heard the heartbeat yet. I’m only about 5 weeks along. Normal people don’t announce until their 12+ weeks along. Heck, some people don’t even know they’re preggers at 5 weeks! Kirk keeps telling me that it’s ok. If the unthinkable happens, we’ll need everyone’s support. It’s ok to just soak in the joy we feel right now. Today. Today, everything is ok. Today, we can be happy. We can’t let the “what if’s” rob of us of this joy. Not yet. I’m trying my best to be excited, but I’m also hella nervous jervous.

Oh, the pregnancy symptoms.

Ugh. I became nauseous about a week after our FET. Nausea is also a side effect of my meds, so I tried my best not to look into this too much. I did go down a Reddit rabbit hole to read other success stories of those who felt nauseous after a FET. The nausea has yet to subside. I came THIS.CLOSE to peeing on a stick prior to our first beta test because I had a feeling this symptom was no longer a medication side effect, but a pregnancy side effect. I chickened out, though. The chance that it would be a false positive was an emotional rollercoaster I wasn’t willing to get on. (Who are we kidding - I’m not willing to get on ANY rollercoaster.)

I guess I should be thankful that I’m not getting physically sick. I’m just nauseous for about 90% of the day. I feel like I’ve tried all the gimmicks. I’ve tried cinnamon hard candies, sour hard candies (legit called Preggie Pop Drops), sea sick wrist bands, ginger tea, essential oils, crackers, Sprite, you name it. The wrist bands have actually been the most helpful. The candies help for about 7 minutes, then I’m back to the watery mouth & checking for the closest bathroom or trash can. What’s weirder? Anything sweet makes the nausea worse. Fan-freaking-tastic.

Other symptoms: I’m tired AF. I make it a point to walk 2 miles every morning with Remy since I haven’t been approved yet to go back to the gym or run. I’m fine during the walk, but afterwards: it’s nap time. Naps don’t ever happen though, because #life. I’m freaking exhausted. I get random hot flashes, but I think that’s more from the meds than being preggers. By the end of the day, my boobs are sore and I’ve had some mild, random cramping. All in all, it really isn’t that bad. Just new side effects I have to journey through.

Alongside Dr. Huber, we’re cautiously optimistic. Getting a BFP (big fat positive) preggers test was check box #1. My following beta tests have checked a few more boxes. Our first ultrasound has been scheduled. We’ll continue to check off boxes with Dr. Huber and his team before we’ll officially graduate from the clinic and get handed over to my ob-gyn.

For now, I’ll start shopping for ALL the baby things, as we joyfully wait to check off another box toward Baby Fabre. Eek!

P.S. To those wondering: we are NOT going to find out the gender. Also, while our embryo was named Charlie, that isn’t the name we’ll be going with for the baby.