Grateful Part Deux
Y’all. My heart could just about EXPLODE! The responses we’ve received since letting the besties create the GoFundMe account on our behalf have been SO incredibly heartwarming. I’m honored. I’m speechless. I’m humbled. If you really want to know what people think about you – admit you could use some help AND accept said help. I just can’t with y’all! 😊
“Thank You” will never be enough. I know that. Kirk knows that. I’m sure you know that, too. But I’ll continue to say it because I don’t know how else to show it. You’ve turned my tears of heartache into tears of joy. Something I didn’t think was possible. YOU did that. Thank y’all, thank y’all, thank y’all.
I’m not gunna lie, a few weeks ago I became extremely overwhelmed by all the love y’all have shown us. It was more than just the donations. It was the sheer acts of kindness of y’all going out of your way for little ole me (& Kirk). I had a meltdown on our couch after dinner. I was just sitting there, crying, trying to process all the love & attention that was being thrown our way. Believe it or not, I’m not a huge fan of being in the spotlight. Having all this attention on me felt very, very big, and almost unnecessary. Why would so many people waste their time on ME, donate their hard earned money on ME, go out of their way for ME? Bless Kirk’s heart, y’all. He helped me understand that all of this is okay. It’s MORE than okay. And that I need to stop preventing people from trying to help us. He reminded me that if the tables were turned, I would be doing the exact same thing for any one of you. (Touché, my love. Touché.) Fertility treatment is cruel, and honestly, there’s not a whole lot people can do to “help”. It’s in our nature to help those we love and when we don’t know HOW to help, we give. And that’s why the response we’ve had has been SO great.
The road to our first IVF cycle officially began back in early August. The original game plan was to start treatment around October/November. While Hurricane Ida may have wreaked havoc on our community, I am happy to say that she has NOT derailed our treatment plans.
Before your first cycle of IVF treatment, there is SO. MUCH. PAPERWORK. that has to be completed. In fact, the nurses send you a checklist of everything you have to do before treatment can even begin. Over the past few weeks, we’ve been able to check off most of our little boxes.
One of the first checklist items was to meet with a lawyer to draw up a will for your unused embryos. Yep, you read that correctly. We have to have a will that declares what happens to our embryos should either (or both) of us die, we get divorced, or we terminate treatment. Our attorney, Amy Kern, is a momma to 3 IVF babies so she totally gets this on a much deeper level. I was first a bit intimidated about this meeting. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around the “what if’s” of IVF. I don’t know what I would do – or want to do – with any unused embryos when there’s no guarantee we’ll get ANY embryos. Plus, this is such a touchy subject on so many fronts: emotionally, spiritually, legally.
The state of Louisiana considers embryos to be viable living humans with legal rights; hence the need for this will. The state also won’t allow you to “discard” of any embryos and you can’t store them long-term here either. So what are our options? In short, there are 4 choices:
- If one parent dies, give full custody to the other parent
- Donate anonymously
- Donate to a specific person
- Cryopreserve (freeze)
However, not all of these apply to us. Apparently, the FDA won’t allow you to donate your embryos if you’re over the age of 35. (Eff.) While cryopreservation is an option, embryos can only be frozen for a max of 30 years. Most embryos won’t make it this long. The current record for a live birth is with a 27 year old embryo and before that, the record was 19 years. So, for the time being, we’ll freeze any remaining embryos until we decide to end fertility treatment. Then we’ll reconvene on what to do next.
Another check list item was to meet with Dr. Huber to sign all the consent forms for treatment in person. Y’all. I’m pretty sure signing up for IVF requires more signatures than buying a house! A gazillion signatures and initials later, we can officially check this item off our list. Lab work: Check! Urine Sample: Check! More ultrasounds: (almost) Check!
The best part of all of this is we FINALLY have a concrete game plan:
- September: labs & consent forms & scans & samples, oh my!
- Checkity Check, Check, Check!
- October: Estrogen Priming (oral meds)
- Essentially prepping my internal lady bits for my next cycle.
- November: IVF Cycle #1
- Shots, more shots, egg retrieval!
- January 2022: Transfer #1!
Eeek! Sh*t is getting really real, real! I’m excited. I’m nervous. I’m a bit overwhelmed. I’m trying to find a healthy balance between doing my research so I’m prepared for what’s to come, but without going down too many rabbit holes so that I’m terrified for what’s to come. Confession: I think I’m leaning toward more terrified than prepared. Oof.
So for now, we (joyfully) wait. Again…
