All of the Emotions
What a whirlwind of emotions this past month has been!
Our third FET (frozen embryo transfer) was on April 5th. By April 13th, Kirk & I knew we were pregnant. The clinic confirmed it on April 14th. Again on April 17th. And once more on April 24th.
Then, on April 28th, we had our first ultrasound. We had a new tech for this appointment and the very first words out of her mouth: “A HEARTBEAT!” Y’all. I was legit overcome with emotions. All the emotions. Dr. Huber came in to confirm that everything looked good. Hearing HIS sigh of relief allowed me to have MY sigh of relief.
In my last blog post, I asked for a little bit of grace in sharing the news this go-round. It was THIS ultrasound we were waiting for. See, it was at this appointment last year that we learned we lost Baby Girl. Leading up to this ultrasound, I was a complete wreck. I kept trying to convince myself that whatever was going to happen, I’d be ok, but I didn’t believe it. I didn’t know how to prepare myself for the worst. Again. I also hadn’t fully accepted the news that this transfer worked. It all felt a bit surreal to me. Like I was in a dream and the ultrasound tech was going to shake me awake at any moment.
But that didn’t happen. We got to see our little jellybean. We got to see its little heart flicker. We got to have our deep sighs of relief and then share the news with our closest friends and family. We finally got to do the things we’ve waited SO. LONG. to do.
We spent a few days calling, texting, and FaceTiming those closest to us. I will say, it was a SO hard to keep things a secret for those few days between when Kirk & I found out until the ultrasound. There were so many instances I wanted to just shout out “IT WORKED! WE’RE PREGGERSSSSS!” It was also super hard to not be obvious about my dietary restrictions around those who were anxiously waiting an update. I’m still super proud of myself for discreetly dodging all the feta cheese on a Mediterranean hummus at Girl’s Night one night. #dustshoulders
Capturing everyone’s reactions was important to me - which is why I didn’t blurt it out over hummus with the girls. What initially started out as an unedited THIRTY FIVE minute video has been narrowed down to right around 8 and a half minutes of glorious, beautiful reactions from our tribe. Apologies for not being able to trim this down any more. And more apologies for not being able to include everyone. (Check out the Video Page here then scroll all the way to the bottom!)
But seriously, thank you. Thank you to each and every one of you who have followed along our on journey through this little corner on the internet. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers to get us to where we are today. However, I do ask that you continue. We aren’t in the clear yet. The odds of this being a high-risk pregnancy are higher than norm. There are still a lot of unknowns and plenty of doctor visits to follow. (Apparently being 38, going through IVF, and finally having your first pregnancy isn’t a walk in the park.)
Keep all the thoughts, prayers, & good vibes coming. The journey isn’t over. We’re just moving onto the next chapter. ::wink::
