Barf Bags & Info Pamphlets
Did you know that the flight informational pamphlet on an airplane makes a great fan? As we made our descent into Norfolk, a huge wave of nausea came over me. I’m talking mouth-watering (& not the good kind), about to blow chunks nausea. Following quickly in its footsteps? A freaking a hot flash. Sack of crap. The stupid little air vent on this damn airplane was doing NOTHING for me, and I was desperate. I grab the pamphlet and start vigorously flapping it around my face. I wish I could rip this mask off. I’m checking the seat backs in front of me for barf bags. Am I going to need all three bags? Oh, sweet baby Jesus, please get this plane DOWN and get me OFF. Bless Kirk’s heart, as his grabs his pamphlet to help create more air flow for me. I’ve never been more miserable in my life. I’m sure the stranger next to me had mutual feelings.
We land and finally deplane. I make a beeline for the bathroom. False alarm. No vomit here; just needed to tinkle. ::eye roll::
We were headed to Virginia for Mother’s Day Weekend to watch the little bro graduate college. This weekend was going to be stressful enough. I didn’t need this new side effect added to the mix. The graduation wasn’t the stressful part. Heck, neither was being around my entire immediate family for the first time in over a year. The stressful part was that it was Mother’s Day Weekend. And the end of my TWW (two week wait). Don’t get me wrong, I love my momma & would celebrate her every day. However, those of us who struggle with infertility feel an extra heartache for Mother’s Day each year. Just some added salt in a wound that feels like it’ll never heal.
Kirk convinced me to leave the preggers test at home. The last thing I wanted was to be utterly heartbroken by a negative test while confined to a small house crammed full of my family. No offense, y’all! This weekend was a celebration, and we were going to leave it at that. Naturally, this new side effect had me wondering if the second IUI was successful. Is this it?! Part of me wishes I would have still packed a test; the other part was glad I didn’t.
Once we were back home, I took a preggers test.
Sidenote: A few weeks ago, I asked Kirk if he would take the preggers test with me. Well, if he would be with me during that dreaded two-minute wait. In my mind, I thought it would be really super cool for us to find out – together – that I was preggers. It also wouldn’t be such a bad thing to have him right there next to me if I weren’t. There was a little hesitation on his part (he’s not a huge fan of being filmed, but he humors me anyway). Although, I think he was glad to be a part of this paragraph in our journey.
Two minutes doesn’t seem like that long, until you focus every ounce of your energy onto a tiny, blinking digital screen. Emotions are RAMPANT. Do you look? Do you look away? Distract yourself by playing a round of Candy Crush? We stood in my bathroom and waited; somewhat joyfully, somewhat anxious. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the screen stopped blinking.
Big. Fat. Negative.
Aunt Flo showed up the next day.
There should be a law against contradicting ailments (maybe ailments isn’t the right word here…) having the same side effects. Here’s my issue: progesterone pills, my period, and pregnancy all have similar side effects. To give you an example, here are just a few of the side effects they share:
- Nausea
- Cramping
- Tiredness
- Headaches
- Mood Swings
- Sore Boobies
How the heck am I supposed to decipher if what I’m feeling is just the meds I’m on; Aunt Flo being Aunt Flo; or if all this god-awful treatment finally worked?! I’ll tell ya one thing – it’s annoying as shit.
Since our second IUI failed, we’re back to Square One (again). This time, Dr. Huber is tweaking my drug cocktail. It’s new doses and a new drug. I feel like I’m quickly becoming a pro with all these meds but adding a new drug will always be a bit unnerving.
But third times a charm, though, right?!
::crossing all my fingers and all my toes::
